i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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