on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
false alarm. still invincible.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
