you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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