i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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