obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
