What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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