Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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