Buhtt sex?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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