some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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