The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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