we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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