It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just pee around me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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