Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
whose ass print is on the piano?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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