8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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