I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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