you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
