I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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