a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
