did you get engaged???
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
