Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
