since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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