in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
