I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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