if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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