So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
