I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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