Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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