What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
