We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
