somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize