i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
