So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
only you would photoshop your dick
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
