So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I supernannyed him into submission
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
