Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
