Fuck appropriateness.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
