Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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