just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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