I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize