I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
