I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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