Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
