so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
