hotel room ftw
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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