I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
