You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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