this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize