Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
