You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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