I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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