Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
