no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
