i need an iv and a liver transplant
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
