How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
