We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
