You work out of a Hotel?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
