Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
