cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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