I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize