wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
