The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize