tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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