I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
