I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
