It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
