We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
