Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
