i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize