Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
